One of the greatest, yet often under-utilized tools we have in our handy “take good care of myself” toolbox, is the ability to set healthy boundaries in our lives. It could be that we don’t do more of this because we don’t do enough work around understanding what we need and want for ourselves, yet it is more likely due to the fact that setting boundaries (or recalibrating old ones) often involves communicating our needs to other people, something many of us find difficult to do.
It’s hard to find a diplomatic way to ask a co-worker not to just “drop in” our office and plop down for a gossip session during our crunch time. It’s tricky to tell a loved one that, while we have been putting up with their drama for decades, we have (more…)
This is a touchy subject for most of us. After all, we’ve all got a family member, friend or acquaintance whose choices in life seem to require the assistance of a 24/7/365 on-call clean-up crew. Heck, we may be that person! What gives with this epidemic? We all want autonomy when it comes to the choices we make for ourselves, rebuffing unsolicited advice like swatting flies…but what happens when our consequences impose on the lives of others, making us a burden?
For example, who are we to tell someone else what to (more…)
When we have a desire or dream marinating in our hearts we tend to keep it cached away from the outside world…stealing away moments to go and check on it, feed it, water it, or give it the attention it needs to stay alive. The more deeply rooted this aspiration is in our authentic and ideal selves, the more we avoid sharing it with others and continue to tend to it in solitude. Whether we believe our hopes to be silly, unrealistic, unattainable or uncharacteristic of us, we fear exposing ourselves or making what we seek public knowledge. Maybe we think we will be scrutinized, laughed at, or will be held to some unspoken time-line of achievement. Maybe we feel as though we are undeserving of such fantasies. Maybe we fear failure or are waiting until the “right time”. Regardless, when we hold hostage a need or desire that stems from the core of our being, we become (more…)
Moving on…hmmm…seems like a simple idea, in theory. We all search for open doors and waves of opportunity, but in direct contradiction to that we also find ourselves still lingering around the closed doors trying to pick the lock or peek through the keyhole to see what is happening behind the threshold. As we pray or search for answers as to how to move forward in life…for guidance toward which path to take…for that which is hidden to be revealed…or to acquire that which we desire, among the many answers, signs and intuitive rumblings sent to help us clarify which direction is best we also receive the occasional nail. This is the universe’s way of letting us know that it is time to lay to rest that which is done, dead or outlived it’s expiration date in order to make room for (more…)
We have all been there…standing in that moment immediately after having just opened a “truth telegram” feeling as if the only possible way to erase that truth is to simply choke, shoot or eliminate the messenger. Then, after resisting the urge to take the messenger out “RAMBO-style”, we usually move on to other techniques designed to resist successful delivery. Sometimes we attempt to discredit the messenger…questioning their integrity or motives…rationalizing to ourselves and others that we should “consider the source”. At other times, we attempt to disqualify them, making an argument that they are not informed enough about us to make such a delivery. The reality is, however, that truth is truth…no matter who the messenger is.
Life has a funny way of revealing us to ourselves through other people. This function is vital to our evolution and growth as we move along our journey. When we have a false reality that we have adopted that has caused us to stall in our attempts at progress, the universe eventually will (more…)